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Friday, August 31, 2007

Holding back tears....

I'm writing this during my lunch break at my full time job because I wanted to say thank you to those of you who have left comments re my dream. Thanks for the support.

You know it almost became a reality this morning. I have had such a rubbish morning here at work I have actually for the first time in years been reduced to tears. One of the senior people I work for shouted at me so much that I felt I could take no more. I must admit I was very professional, polite, calm etc until she slammed her way out of my office then I became so overwhelmed with emotion that I burst into tears!! A couple of other Partners in the firm heard the comotion and came to see me, were supportive of the fact that I had remained professional and suggested I went for a walk to 'freshen up'. I did say politely and gently that I feel like telling them what they can do with their job, I do not appreciate being shouted at for something that is not my fault or even within my control - being an Administration Manager I seem to get the blame for most things - never praise if things are going well. I relented and withdrew my threat of walking out!

I'm fine now but reading your comments has brought back the tears - I so nearly came to taking that first step towards my dream. Next time maybe I will walk............

9 comments:

Sandy said...

Your dream sounds wonderful; your job awful. You did handle it well; the supervisor was out of line. Why do they always get away with it? Hang in there. Maybe someone will read the blog that has the financial expertise but not the creative part. Sandy

arlee said...

Hon, you're on my list when i win the lottery :}

Jacquelines blog said...

Hi Anna,
You did stand up for yourself!!! That is great, and you stayed calme too. See it like this, this women has made a fool of herself, shouting in public. That is a thing childeren do. Hang in there, maybe there comes a solution.

Vicki W said...

Good for you! Something similar happened to me years ago when I was a project manager for a large (98 people) project. I was giving a status update to the President and the Senior Execs. She didn't like my answer to a question, stood up, yelled across the table at me and called me a liar. I did what you did. I remained calm, apologized for the misunderstanding (on her part) and explained my answer. I was livid and after the meeting left the office for the day. Not one of the Execs stood up for me in the meeting (everyone was afraid of her) but each one called me and thanked me for handling her so well. To this day I know that she regretted her behavior (but never apologized) and I'm proud of the way I handled the situation. It was also the day that I made up my mind to leave that company once the project was done. I loved my team but had no respect for the company leadership. leaving there was the best move I have ever made. I am not at a company where people have respect for each other. Don't stay anywhere where you are not respected and appreciated. There are much better places to work!

Susan D said...

Hang on in there Anna you came out of it with your head held high, you shouldn't have to put up with behaviour like that. Don't give up on your dream, maybe one day!!!!

Homeleightigger said...

Hang onto your dream Anna - it will keep you strong. You said in your Profile of your Blog you only have the day job to fund your habit! That thought puts it all into perspective - yes? Val

Doreen G said...

Congratulations Anna on maintaining your dignity-you can look at yourself in the mirror and feel proud -unlike your boss who should feel ashamed of herself.
Remember dreams can come true

Angelcat said...

I agree with Jacqueline, you are so much better than that c*w that thought it was ok to shout and scream at you. I know what it feels like to hate going into the office everyday I'm sure there is something so much better waiting round the corner for you.

Susan said...

Hi!
This is the first time I've been able to get back to your blog. Maybe I should read all the waiting posts before answering....but....no....I'll go ahead an comment, one by one.

Before you walk....keep that calmness long enough to think about how such a decision will affect YOU...not anyone else...just YOU. What problems (other that a paycheck) will be caused and how will you "fix" them in advance. Make a plan. Then, when the day comes, you really can WALK.

I say this because of a situation that happened a long, long time ago. My husband hated his job and had similar problems. The company he worked for had merged with another. The owners were having trouble working together. One would always scream and yell at the employees the other had hired.

I was pregnant with Alex at the time. We thought that my husband couldn't quit because we'd lose our health insurance. So, he took all the screaming and yelling and insults calmly and professionally until after Alex was born. It was degrading and awful.

If we'd looked into the situation, however, this would never have happened. There are laws that would have continued our insurance at the same rate we were paying. We just didn't know. We didn't look into the situation. We didn't look for the solution ahead of time.

After Alex was born, Steve quit his job to work for me...for my business. It was RISKY. It worked. The company he had worked for dissolved within two years...the owners never did learn to work together or something like that. Steve left professionally...just like you acted. The one owner is still a client of ours!
Susan