Tuesday, March 18, 2008

Exhausted - Part 2

Once again thanks for your kind support over the last few weeks. Mum WAS getting better when she was in the John Radcliff hospital - they decided she was well enough to bring closer to home and consequently moved her back to the Great Western, Swindon last week. Since then I think she has gone down hill, backwards or is just getting the stoke like 'strange in the head' after effects of surgery! I do love her, dislike her as a person but I would not wish this current condition on anyone. My son came over from Germany to visit and we went together to see her on Sunday - he may as well been a complete stranger from the way she treated him - She knew who he was but really did not care and made it quite clear that she did not care that he had made such a effort to visit. I was proud of the fact that he held it together and did not show her how upsetting he found the experience.

In Oxford she was getting out of bed to use the bathroom - here in Swindon they have given her a big pad!! She has never liked strangers (has not even got to know neighbours after living in the same house for over 30 years!!) now she is adopting any male who passes her bed as a new grandson! Which was the other thing that upset my boy - he is her only grandson and she told him it did not matter!! She also kept shouting at my son to tell me he had seen her walking the day before - when of course he has not seen her for almost a year!

I do hope she either comes back to her 'normal' nasty self as this is far far worse and my father would definitely not be able to cope with her at home like this.

I am now unable to visit her as I have a severe cold and right now I am grateful - I hate seeing her like this - I would rather she was back to 'normal' so I could tell her I don't like her - Now I just feel guilty of feeling this way.

I am trying to do some art work - I have so much homework to do but am struggling with feeling rough - I can manage a few minutes a day.


Quilt Pixie said...

Know that you are responsible for your actions -- how you feel, that's just how it is... not something you can will.

Julie said...

Sorry to hear you've come down with another cold Anna altho it's probably not surprising. Try and get some rest.

Stephanie Pettengell said...

It will get better, and you will become stronger. We are all thinking of you. Sleep well.

katelnorth said...

try to take some time to rest, Anna - even cold can really knock you out when you are stressed to start with, and you don't want it to linger. sending good thoughts your way.