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Wednesday, November 05, 2008

Faux pas a depressive spilling

Firstly I would like to thank those who commented on yesterday's post - I really do appreciate your support.
Secondly this will be the last 'personal spilling'.
Thirdly and most IMPORTANTLY - PLEASE DO NOT COMMENT ON THIS POST - I DON'T WANT ANY COMMENTS - THEY WILL BE DELETED.

The post title could actually be written in different ways and still have my intended meaning (I think ?) -
Faux pas - a depressive's spilling
A depressive's Faux pas - Spilling
Spilling - a depressive's Faux pas

Clever - hah?

Spilling
Spilling - to cause or allow especially accidentally or unintentionally to fall, flow, or run out .
A newer meaning - as used by people like Sabrina Ward Harrison - is a sort of out pouring of feelings, emotions etc for the 'Creative' to get a better perspective of themselves. Julia Cameron encourages Morning Pages as a form of 'spilling'. I have used this blog increasingly for that purpose and it is not what I had intended to use this blog for.


Depressive
A person suffering from depression. Depression - is a mental disorder characterized by a pervasive low mood and loss of interest or pleasure in usual activities. The general term depression is better used to describe a temporary depressed or sad mood.

Yep - that summarises ME very nicely. I am a (mild) depressive. On medication - NO. (which thankfully confirms a not too serious a depressive). Acutely aware of my problem - YES. Able to cope with it - SOMETIMES. How? At present by filling my fridge with Cheese - NOT exactly the correct way of doing things but it is the 'first sign' of slipping in the 'wrong' direction. I know things are going in the wrong direction when the compulsion to buy cheese has happened. I stop doing the things I love and just want to eat cheese and sleep. Currently sleeping should be a very easy thing to do - not having a job. However when slipping I am unable to sleep. Did I have the nap I mentioned yesterday - NO, did I sleep at all last night - NO. Am I tired this morning - actually - NO. This phase makes me realise that I need to start to 'pull myself together'. Gradually I will! The cycle then repeats!

Faux pas
Isn't that a lovely phrase? Faux pas an embarrassing social blunder or indiscretion, a slip up. So much nicer than 'mistake' or 'gaff'!
My Faux pas was to write a post, very recently, giving too many details of a particular project. When the projects author pointed this out I did remove the post (I believe in time for it not to be read by anyone else), I also apologised and the matter was considered Over, Finished, Done etc.
I would actually like to thank said author because she made me see things so much more clearly.

To Summarise - Faux pas a depressive spilling

I think it is a big 'mistake' to spill my depressive mood into the universe in this blog. Someone once told me that whatever you 'send' out into the universe is reflected back - so by sending out 'misery' you will be more miserable. You need to send out 'good vibes' to get more good vibes back.

On this blog I 'spill' too much in the form of too many details - both about myself and my art work.
My art work - When I started this blog - I did put up photos of my work - completed pieces, with a little note of method but I did not do the step by step, moment by moment progression of every piece. The blog was light hearted, interesting. It felt good to do and I felt good (despite my inner mood).
I spent much of last night looking at other textile art blogs and notice very very few do the step by step 'how to' descriptions of their work.

Me - One of yesterday's comments inferred that it is interesting to 'understand' the 'whole' artist. Which I do appreciate and am not denigrating this point. We study 'true' artists in history like Van Gogh and his depressive moods and as a consequence 'understand' him and his work better. BUT I am NO Van Gogh - You don't need to understand me!
Again I looked at other textile art blogs and very very few write about themselves like this. We still 'understand' where they are coming from. You certainly don't need to read so much about my depressive moods.

SO IT ENDS NOW - NO MORE PERSONAL POSTS ABOUT ME, ONLY TEXTILE OR ART RELATED.

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